It's been a while now. I mean, a while for us. And I am happy about that. But I also find that I am nervous. I say it "if/when" something happens again. I like to say "if" because I don't like assuming that it will always happen again, but I find that puts a lot of pressure on my husband, making it harder not to lie if something happens. But "when" implies it must/will happen again, which I believe that at some point, it won't. I haven't lost the hope (or rather, have regained the hope) that one day we will all be free of this. Unfortunately no one has presented me with the timeline of exactly when this will magically occur.
So, I'm happy. It's been a while. Sometimes I have to remind myself that one week is better than no weeks, and one month is better than a week, and so on. I hold on to the hope that someday I may not have to worry about this much at all. I know this will always be a temptation for my husband. I just hope that he gains the long-term control we all want. Oh, and if he could do it on the sooner side... :)
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I'm a nervous wife as well. It's hard to accept that it is always going to be a struggle...I hate that!! Thank you for the reminder to be happy for each clean day.
ReplyDeleteHi again...I left the comment earlier (on Nov. 10th). I appreciate your attitude so much! I blog on ldsar.com my name is Summer. I think you would be a valuable member on that site...it has brought me much comfort. You might already know about that site and are a member, or it might not be something you really want to do...but I just wanted to mention it to you. It helps to know we aren't alone.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your blog,
Summer
Summer, thanks for your comments. I didn't know about that site, but I am off to check it out for sure! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI can totally sympathize with your feelings. Sometimes my internal optimist fights with the realist inside of me on whether to use if or when. I get nervous too for the same reasons. I hope you are hanging in there!
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