Nervous

It's been a while now. I mean, a while for us. And I am happy about that. But I also find that I am nervous. I say it "if/when" something happens again. I like to say "if" because I don't like assuming that it will always happen again, but I find that puts a lot of pressure on my husband, making it harder not to lie if something happens. But "when" implies it must/will happen again, which I believe that at some point, it won't. I haven't lost the hope (or rather, have regained the hope) that one day we will all be free of this. Unfortunately no one has presented me with the timeline of exactly when this will magically occur.

So, I'm happy. It's been a while. Sometimes I have to remind myself that one week is better than no weeks, and one month is better than a week, and so on. I hold on to the hope that someday I may not have to worry about this much at all. I know this will always be a temptation for my husband. I just hope that he gains the long-term control we all want. Oh, and if he could do it on the sooner side... :)